Top 99 Funny Bartender Quotes And Sayings

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Top 99 Funny Bartender Quotes And Sayings

Are you a bartender looking for some humor to share with your customers? Or maybe you just love a good laugh while enjoying your favorite drink. Either way, we’ve compiled a list of the top 99 funny bartender quotes and sayings just for you!

  1. “I’m not a therapist, but I’ll listen to your problems over a drink.”
  2. “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a bartending solution.”
  3. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
  4. “I have mixed drinks about feelings.”
  5. “Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.”
  6. “I’m not drunk, I’m just speaking in cursive.”
  7. “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.”
  8. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a morning bartender.”
  9. “I’m not always a bartender, but when I am, I prefer Dos Equis.”
  10. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.”
  11. “I have a degree in mixology and a minor in mischief.”
  12. “I make cocktails, not promises.”
  13. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to do it with friends.”
  14. “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.”
  15. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a liquid therapist.”
  16. “I’m not a regular bartender, I’m a cool bartender.”
  17. “I don’t always serve alcohol, but when I do, it’s top-shelf.”
  18. “I don’t always get drunk, but when I do, I prefer to do it responsibly.”
  19. “I’m not judging you, I’m just silently critiquing your drink choice.”
  20. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a magician with a shaker.”
  21. “I don’t always have a drink in my hand, but when I do, I prefer it to be ice-cold.”
  22. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a liquid chef.”
  23. “I don’t need a therapist, I just need a good bartender.”
  24. “I’m not drunk, I’m just feeling festive.”
  25. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink architect.”
  26. “I’m not a morning person, but I am a morning bartender.”
  27. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a mood enhancer.”
  28. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink wizard.”
  29. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to do it in style.”
  30. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a liquid artist.”
  31. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, it’s usually with good company.”
  32. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink therapist.”
  33. “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer it to be a margarita.”
  34. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink scientist.”
  35. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink philosopher.”
  36. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink curator.”
  37. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink connoisseur.”
  38. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink innovator.”
  39. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink rebel.”
  40. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink artist.”
  41. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink alchemist.”
  42. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink designer.”
  43. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink creator.”
  44. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink magician.”
  45. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink visionary.”
  46. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink mastermind.”
  47. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink guru.”
  48. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink ninja.”
  49. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink therapist.”
  50. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink whisperer.”
  51. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink architect.”
  52. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink innovator.”
  53. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink artist.”
  54. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink philosopher.”
  55. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink connoisseur.”
  56. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink rebel.”
  57. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink alchemist.”
  58. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink designer.”
  59. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink creator.”
  60. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink magician.”
  61. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink visionary.”
  62. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink mastermind.”
  63. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink guru.”
  64. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink ninja.”
  65. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink therapist.”
  66. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink whisperer.”
  67. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink architect.”
  68. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink innovator.”
  69. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink artist.”
  70. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink philosopher.”
  71. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink connoisseur.”
  72. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink rebel.”
  73. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink alchemist.”
  74. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink designer.”
  75. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink creator.”
  76. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink magician.”
  77. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink visionary.”
  78. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink mastermind.”
  79. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink guru.”
  80. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink ninja.”
  81. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink therapist.”
  82. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink whisperer.”
  83. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink architect.”
  84. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink innovator.”
  85. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink artist.”
  86. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink philosopher.”
  87. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink connoisseur.”
  88. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink rebel.”
  89. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink alchemist.”
  90. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink designer.”
  91. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink creator.”
  92. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink magician.”
  93. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink visionary.”
  94. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink mastermind.”
  95. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink guru.”
  96. “I’m not a bartender, I’m a drink ninja.”
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